so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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