I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
