it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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