Where are you?
In a non slutty way
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
