you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
last night I used snow as a chaser
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize