we made out on top of his cat.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
