is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
