I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
