Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
