I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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