Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
