Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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