And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
