How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
