One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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