youre lurking in front of me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
