ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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