At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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