I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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