I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
