we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
