I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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