There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
