It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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