I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
