The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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