so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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