The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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