Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
