What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it was like eating out sand paper
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize