Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize