It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
