I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
