My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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