shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
thus making me awesome and them whores
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Im part way to drunk.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
