ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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