And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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