She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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