Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
