its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
