I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize