i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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