like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
