Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
did i walk over a car last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize