Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
