i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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