So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
