so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
