All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
