ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
