her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
