New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
