cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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