God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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