1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
this hospital has no fireball
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
