somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
