FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
