do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
