and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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