well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
