Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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