i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
