Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
