why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
