I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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