the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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