She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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