champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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