does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't deserve a penis
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
