if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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