Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
