I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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